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Overcoming Resistance to Care

Overcoming Resistance to Care

Being responsible for an elderly person is an honor and a priviledge. It is also very challenging. Most are very reluctant to care. Below are reasons for the resistance and best practices for dealing with the resistance:

* This person is likely dealing with loss – physical, mental, and/or independence.

* If they accept care, it will mean the loss of privacy and getting used to new routines.

* This person is likely frightened, vulnerable, angry, and guilty about possibly being a burden to family and friends.

* They could be stubborn. They could have concerns about a general decline in their mental health. They could consider getting care a sign of weakness.

* They are most likely worried about costs.

* They may have memory loss which makes it more difficult to understand the need for assistance.

Here are some ways to approach this person and communicate with them:

* Do a thorough assessment of what kind of help is needed and what services may be useful/necessary.

* Make sure you have a discussion on care needs when you are both calm and relaxed.

* Ask them about their preferences. Ask whom they would like to assist them with care. Be sure you speak about taking their preferences seriously but that you may not be able to honor all of their wishes. Make the conversation simple and clear.

* Ask their family and friends for help with overcoming the resistance.

* Don't give up if the first conversation is not successful. Try again at another time.

* Suggest a trial run that let's them see what this looks and feels like without it being “cast in stone”.

* Talk in a positive way at all times about the care. Talk about it in terms of being a time to enjoy some activities they like. Talk about the home care person in terms of being a friend.

* Consider presenting the acceptance of care as something that will help you. Consider compromising between their wishes and needs and your wishes and needs.

* Work on understanding how they think and feel. Stay focused on the big picture so that you will not have battles over small things.

* Talk about how accepting care will allow them to stay living where they choose for a longer period of time.

* Take away their fear that needing care means they have failed. Find ways to keep them active – keep them social – keep them in current relationships – keep them forging new relationships.

* If needed, ask for help from one of this person's trusted advisors such as a doctor, a lawyer, a financial advisor or a priest.

Explaining to them how accepting care will benefit them and you, keeping them involved in decisions made affecting them, and being patient, sensitive and compassionate to their situation will make you more likely to be successful in gaining their cooperation. Your loved one accepting care assistance can be a win-win situation!

Posted Tuesday, 05/10/16, 12:47 PM - Comments - Category: Aging In Place


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